If Humans Didn’t Have Knees: Part 2

Thanking Mr. Muller and Mr. Chatterjee, we will talk to Traffic Police Commissioner Byron Levine.

‘Well, it’s a bloody difficult job if you ask me. Making sure people don’t cross speed limits in the jet boots. Especially those blasted teenagers. Nasty, foolhardy, cheeky chaps if you ask me. They bloody think that zooming around without watching the traffic lights is going to save their lives. That’s the same thinking as puncturing your float and saying you won’t drown. There are institutions of instructors to teach them jetting, but no, the blasted nitwits have to act to smart and go zooming. Trying too hard to impress their girlfriends, the fools. Damn pretty they’re gonna look if they get tangled up and scorch each others’ skins off their beardless faces.

As it is, we have a huge task trying to maintain the sky-tracks and make sure their lights are working good. Just imagine, if you’re zipping along the sky-tracks and don’t see your track light up green to go. It’s going to be a massacre, worse than animal stampedes. All jetters slamming head first into each other. And falling miles right down. It’s not like the earth is a trampoline that the children play on. And if one of the upper sky-tracks fails and ends up as a massacre, all the lower rings of the sky-tracks will also collapse. As you know, the sky-tracks are all connected and the network is huge. It has to be, because now they connect all the places! Parks, residential colonies, business parks, gardens and malls. And we there are also sky-track light-ups to help descending to the aeropads of each place. So basically, all levels will break down, and humans will be laying like a stack of mega pancakes. Even with a little mishap or dysfunction, all areas and aeropads will close down, basically shutting down daily life till the mess is cleaned up. Upon all of this repair and maintenance, these bloody teenagers think its fun to smash into the tracks and their light-ups. What, the traffic instructors are idiots, to teach them in safe sites like warehouses?’

‘What about the older times’, we ask him.

‘Well, those were no better. We had different problems then and we have different problems now. My grandfather told me about the time when he was the Traffic Police Commissioner. Pogo Sticks and Leaping Balls, yes? All on roads, yeah? Muddy tracks now, only children use them. Adults are lazy, my personal opinion. They jet even to their neighbours’. There is a small team of my people dispatched for the care of the road network, but like I said, only children there. Back in my grandfather’s time, he said, traffic police officers had to stand with glowing light sticks in their hands to indicate which part of the crowd could go where. And that too, they had to make sure no pogo stick clashed with a leaping ball mid air, or no leaping ball bumped another one off course. Hazardous, of course. It’s like skittles, all people falling off their vehicles. All over the place. And a bit of the side road used to be designated for new learners and children, who were much slower and would hence, make the traffic slower. At least the traffic isn’t as slow now. But if a mishap happened, as I said before, the casualties would be enormous. Anyhow, nothing to worry about. With me in charge, no such thing happening. No, it ain’t.’

We will next be recording the statement of our Tropic Youth Games sports coach, Mr. Billy Moore.

If Humans Didn’t Have Knees: Part 1

Knees. An aspect of genetic mutation that completely skipped the human species, here, on Pseudonesia. We, the people of Pseudonesia, have finally started compiling a research paper on the knee-less evolution, including how humans feel about it. In this study, we will try to record all different aspects of our knee-less life. In the hope that if we do evolve into kneed species, our knee-less existence will not be forgotten. And just in case, there are other parallel universes where humans have knees or are missing hips, they can gain insight from our story.

Upon asking Mr. Ashton Muller, a man of religion, about his feelings, he stated-

‘Look, birds can be classified into two types- those with knees and those without. Smaller birds, like sparrows, typically do not have a pair of knees. This is the reason you will see them hopping around. Bigger birds, like flamingos perhaps, do have a set of knees. Hence, they have the privilege of being subject to many words to describe their actions. They can walk, waddle, step or pace. Ostriches and emus can run. And all because of wondrous bone caps called knees. Now, we, humans have been watching these birds ever since we can remember. Sure, we have cool stuff like higher intelligence, variety of food, cameras and college. But birds have wings AND knees. Animals have knees and they can run and sprint and everything, but they don’t have wings as well! Birds are the only ones with both, and no one knows why God blessed them with that advantage.

Humans are a tad bit jealous of birds. Slightly jealous of birds. Quite jealous, actually. No, if we’re saying it, we might as well say it all. We are very jealous of them! The ancient Egyptians worshipped gods who were part animals and birds. Sometimes, I feel it’s because all those animals and birds have knees. Somehow, it makes them higher beings than us, despite everything we have.’

Accompanying him is Mr. Chatterjee, a mechanical engineer. His statement is-

‘Now, I’m proud of all we have. We have compensated for the lack of knees in many ways. One of the first vehicles we built to compensate for it was a pogo stick. It imitated our hopping in an amplified and quicker way, making getaways more possible as compared to hopping around like a bunch of sparrows. For example, if you were at the bar and you hit on a girl, the girl usually responded with throwing her drink in your face. If you hopped, you’d only have time to turn and take one hop. But on a pogo stick, you’d at least be out of the drink’s reach. But the pogo stick had a minor setback. You had to be standing all the time. This later developed into a big ball with loops, through which you could slide your body. So you could lie on your tummy on the ball and leap places. This initially took a lot of time and practice to master but it became a very common mode of transport. This had minor setback as well. It became increasingly difficult for our older generations to sleep and leap so much.

Thanks to our much developed technological advances, we have come up with jet boots. I personally was the Chief Engineer for the project. Now all they have to do is tap their feet together thrice and the jet packs on their boots get activated. This was quite hazardous in the beginning, but soon everyone took to it quite well. The adults use jet boots to get places, while the children still use the pogo sticks and the leaping balls for their neighborhood transport.’

Thanking Mr. Muller and Mr. Chatterjee, we will talk to Traffic Police Commissioner Byron Levine.

Honor and Pride

People in white that shuffle along the streets

With sweaty hands holding words of power

And faces bearing expressions of emotions

Withholding the blizzard and withholding the shower

People in skin that wake up to see dark walls

With hearts making attempts at hoping for hope

As they close their eyes to make the pain bearable

For they alone to face the torture of the rope

But that was the past and the people who lived then

And now is the present lived by other generations

Then the people endured the anguish and suffering

For us, for their generations and the beloved nation

But do we uphold their honor? Do we hold their pride?

We lived then under the terror of some other foreign

But now we live under the terror of our own blood

And like it or not, its our own pride that we shun.

Suppressed for so long its time to strike back

Even if its against a power that has roots in our fears

Rise, for we are more in numbers and have a reason

A reason strong enough to overthrow false seers

While evil has no purpose and strikes for no good

We have the solid reason of upholding our truth

And hence we can change ourselves and then the nation

For what is the nation but us, Mother India’s fruit?

So rise children of India, rise to make a change

Change for the good and change for the sane

And just you wait and look, India herself will change

Grateful and happy, India will wield the rein.

Watch “Dance, Run, Show Off: Conquering Satara” on YouTube

Dance, Run, Show Off: Conquering Satara: http://youtu.be/g_RX91F_OgY

Going back

I cried when I left that place. All other times I left thinking that I’m going home for a vacation and I’m gonna return anyway. This time? I realized that I wouldn’t return. Not in the same way. I wouldn’t belong there if I went there again, I would be an alumnus. So I cried.
Now I’m going back again. As an alumnus. Maybe it won’t be that bad.
Different, yes. But not necessarily bad.
I’ll meet many people once more. Be there again once more. Maybe feel the same things.
And for that I am glad.
And for that I am excited.
OFF I GO TOMORROW! CIRS HERE I COME! ANAND UTSAV, I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN!

The Hunter Spoke to Me Last Night

I saw the stars again last night. There was a time when I used to keep myself awake at night just to talk to the stars. It’s only really late at night that the city lights die down and the starlight seems strong enough to reach down to caress the sleeping eyes of the people. Except mine. Because mine never slept at that hour as they eagerly awaited the emergence of the stars.

But this year, I’ve kept myself busy. I tired myself out so much during the day that my eyelids protested against staying apart. As a result through the time when the stars shone through, beckoning me, but I stayed mute and lifeless.

And yet, blessed are those friendships that stay just the same even if conversations die down, through days of silence. And such was ours. Last night, I stumbled out of broken sleep only to be greeted by the welcoming arms of the stars. They sent the Hunter, the Orion, to speak to me. He seldom spoke to me, only a silent spectre in the distance. I am always gazed upon him with respect, the great emissary of the moon and her stars. And yet, he spoke to me last night. He said, Goodnight Little One. Welcome back to our little world.

The Specter

Noise is not always necessary to attract attention. Sometimes, the presence is all that is needed. This was such an instance where we stood immobile, awestruck by the sheer magnificence of the specter that our eyes now beheld.
Light travels fastest, so this splash of colors probably wasn’t longing the making. One moment the sky was empty and then a blink of the eyes revealed a rainbow looming over our simple heads. All eyes turned to greet and bask in the presence of the rainbow. Cameras lay forgotten, opened only when the rainbow started to vanish back into the teal sky. And for those few precious moments all that existed were beating hearts and blank minds.

The Lost Keys

Hey people,  this is an excellent and hilarious anecdote writing by a friend of mine on her blog… Go check it out! I totally recommend it!

The Lost Keys.

Song that: I love but hardly listen to

walk_like_an_egyptian500w

All the old paintings on the tombs,
They do the sand dance,
Don’t you know?

If they move too quick
They’re falling down like a domino.

All the bazaar men by the Nile,
He got the money on a bet.

For the crocodiles they snap their teeth
On your cigarette.

Foreign types with their hookah pipes say
Walk like an Egyptian.

This has to be one of the silliest songs I have ever heard. The lyrics make no sense- literally or figuratively. Try reading between the lines. There’s probably nothing but empty space anyway. But the reason why this song was a hit (Apart from the Bangles themselves)? The catchy tune. You hear this song and you will automatically start walking in that Egyptian style you see in the picture above.  The reason I came to know about this song was my mother. She was a huge Bangles fan! She introduced me to this song (Thanks mom)!

And though I don’t listen to this song often, I love listening to it every time I do.

 

Watch “My Firsts!” on YouTube

My Firsts!: http://youtu.be/KXReW_FouIE

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