Posted in Parallel U-knee-verse

If Humans Didn’t Have Knees: Part 2

Thanking Mr. Muller and Mr. Chatterjee, we will talk to Traffic Police Commissioner Byron Levine.

‘Well, it’s a bloody difficult job if you ask me. Making sure people don’t cross speed limits in the jet boots. Especially those blasted teenagers. Nasty, foolhardy, cheeky chaps if you ask me. They bloody think that zooming around without watching the traffic lights is going to save their lives. That’s the same thinking as puncturing your float and saying you won’t drown. There are institutions of instructors to teach them jetting, but no, the blasted nitwits have to act to smart and go zooming. Trying too hard to impress their girlfriends, the fools. Damn pretty they’re gonna look if they get tangled up and scorch each others’ skins off their beardless faces.

As it is, we have a huge task trying to maintain the sky-tracks and make sure their lights are working good. Just imagine, if you’re zipping along the sky-tracks and don’t see your track light up green to go. It’s going to be a massacre, worse than animal stampedes. All jetters slamming head first into each other. And falling miles right down. It’s not like the earth is a trampoline that the children play on. And if one of the upper sky-tracks fails and ends up as a massacre, all the lower rings of the sky-tracks will also collapse. As you know, the sky-tracks are all connected and the network is huge. It has to be, because now they connect all the places! Parks, residential colonies, business parks, gardens and malls. And we there are also sky-track light-ups to help descending to the aeropads of each place. So basically, all levels will break down, and humans will be laying like a stack of mega pancakes. Even with a little mishap or dysfunction, all areas and aeropads will close down, basically shutting down daily life till the mess is cleaned up. Upon all of this repair and maintenance, these bloody teenagers think its fun to smash into the tracks and their light-ups. What, the traffic instructors are idiots, to teach them in safe sites like warehouses?’

‘What about the older times’, we ask him.

‘Well, those were no better. We had different problems then and we have different problems now. My grandfather told me about the time when he was the Traffic Police Commissioner. Pogo Sticks and Leaping Balls, yes? All on roads, yeah? Muddy tracks now, only children use them. Adults are lazy, my personal opinion. They jet even to their neighbours’. There is a small team of my people dispatched for the care of the road network, but like I said, only children there. Back in my grandfather’s time, he said, traffic police officers had to stand with glowing light sticks in their hands to indicate which part of the crowd could go where. And that too, they had to make sure no pogo stick clashed with a leaping ball mid air, or no leaping ball bumped another one off course. Hazardous, of course. It’s like skittles, all people falling off their vehicles. All over the place. And a bit of the side road used to be designated for new learners and children, who were much slower and would hence, make the traffic slower. At least the traffic isn’t as slow now. But if a mishap happened, as I said before, the casualties would be enormous. Anyhow, nothing to worry about. With me in charge, no such thing happening. No, it ain’t.’

We will next be recording the statement of our Tropic Youth Games sports coach, Mr. Billy Moore.



YouTuber, Blogger, Rotaractor, Mountaineer, Writer, Crazy, Whovian

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