Posted in Cultures, Uncategorized

My Skirt Celebrated My Womanhood

Women’s Day. Nice day, Women’s Day. The one day that everyone is supposed to believe in women and promote feminism (and for those of you hate that word I suggest a synonym – gender equality). The one day that everyone wants to celebrate womanhood.

When my professor asked me to take part in the women’s day celebration in college, I was curious. I was supposed to role play as Elizabeth Loftus and represent our Psychology department in the event. As amazing as Elizabeth Loftus is, I immediately agreed at the chance to even pretend to be her for a mere 5 minutes and tell non-Psychology janta about this remarkable woman. Background? She proved memory can be altered and false memories can be implanted in people because of which eyewitness testimony can be false. Saved billions of lives, she did. She’s still alive, by the way.

Anyway, I was to tell the audience a few of my experiments as if I were Loftus herself. My professor’s asked me to wear a skirt and shirt so I could portray the Western woman all the better in western wear. If you know me, I ride a bike to college (which I didn’t on this specific day, because skirt, duh) and am found in Jeans. I asked my professors if I would be allowed to enter in a skirt and they said I just had to tell the security that I was performing at the Women’s Day Program. Very well. After spending over an hour dressing (which I never do for any event) in a skirt of suitable length, I went to college in a knee length skirt, a high neck t-shirt and a full sleeve shirt to top it off. All despite the glorious heat that has made its early appearance this year.

The lectures proceeded as usual. During break time, we began to rehearse just a little bit when a troupe of (my college?) girls passed by. They looked at me like I was an alien life-form sprouting some sort of tentacles and proceeding to devour my classmates alive. I ignored them. My phone rang just then: ominous background music like the opening track to a day of horrors. My professor asked me to come down to the staff room. As my friend and I walked there I told her that I had a feeling that they would say that my skirt was in issue. And it was. Ta-da. Much surprise.

They asked me if I was carrying a spare skirt (longer one, of course) or pants that I could change into. Of course I did! I had this tiny string purse that I carried around my body which could be reached into the depths of and extracted fabrics from. I was Hermoine Granger. I was taken to the principal’s cabin so I could be granted permission to wear a skirt for the duration and purpose of celebrating Women’s Day. Before going down, I entered the washroom and pulled down (tried to) my skirt as low as possible so that my knees would be covered even when I sat down. To be very fair, my professor said I didn’t have to go out of my way to become uncomfortable in pulling the skirt down. I appreciated that. Anyway. We waited outside the principal’s cabin to seek audience with her as a peon passed me by. Please note, the skirt had been pulled down enough so as to cover my knees even as I was sitting down. And Mr Peon looked at my legs, looked at my face and looked at my legs again. But then, he didn’t really say anything offensive or cat call anything ashleel so I had no right to be offended. I stayed mum and didn’t create a scene.

As I entered the cabin, the principal looked at me like our parents look at a fridge’s exterior before buying it. My professor explained the circumstances, and the principal said, ‘Oh, that’s why she’s dressed like this’. As if I needed a reason to wear a skirt. She proceeded to say that I couldn’t wear a skirt because our college had strict rules and I was to wear pants. She even suggested I buy new pants. Well, that’s only logical I guess. It was my fault I wore a skirt to college for a Women’s Day event and it was only reasonable that I buy new jeans for a five-minute performance. We exited her office.

So angry was I that I stormed into my class, hiked up my skirt enough to show more skin than the bite your friend takes from your burger and sat on top of the table. I calmed down within 5 seconds (there has to be a 5 second rule about how fast a girl is supposed to gulp down her feelings, no?) and pulled my skirt back down to a modest level (which, according to my college, is at par with ankles).

My professors suggested that I head back home, change into the requested clothing and head back for the performance. There was still half an hour before the performance after all! I politely requested that someone else take up my role as they could read my dialogues out from a sheet I had prepared. But my professors thought I was an excellent orator and no one else could really take my place on the stage. One of them even offered to take me home on her scooty, wait till I change and then bring me back to college. I kept making excuses.

Excuse 1: My house is too far, it takes Rs 70 to Rs 80 one way and I wasn’t willing to spend Rs 200 on five minutes.

Excuse 2: It’s too hot to ride on a scooty back and forth for such a long distance.

Excuse 3: I’m too lazy to change clothes.

Excuse 4: I would prefer to go home only once and sit to study rather than shuttle back and forth.

Excuse 5: It wasn’t really fair what had happened.

But my friends and professors all requested me to take up my role because ‘I had taken so much effort for it’ and ‘I deserved it’. And a girl is supposed to give in to pressure, so I did. We found a classmate whose pants would fit me. I changed into them and went on to deliver my 5-minute performance about an intelligent woman. Once it was done, I changed back into my skirt and trudged down the stairs and out of the college all the while being either eyed head on or from the corner of people’s eyes (all genders and ages, so I guess that’s equality or something).

But it was a nice day over all. I got five roses for being a woman today.